The Participants In The Mysteries-2
It should also be remembered that if the above is true in connection with the work, it is still more true with the initiate himself. Initiation is a strictly personal matter with a universal application. It rests upon his inner attainment. The initiate will know for himself when that event occurs and needs no one to tell him of it. The expansions of consciousness which we undergo normally every day, and call "learning" something or other, have reference to the apprehension by the physical brain of an imparted fact or apprehended circumstance, so with the greater expansion which are the outcome of the many lesser.
At the same time, it is quite possible for me to be functioning on the physical plane and to be actively employed in world service who have no recollection of having undergone the initiatory process, yet who, nevertheless may have taken the first or second initiation in a previous or earlier life. This is the result, simply, of a lack of "bridging" from one life to another, or it may be the outcome of a definite decision of the ego.
A man may be able better to work off certain karma and to carry out certain work for the Lodge if he is free from occult occupation and mystic introspection during the period of any one earth life. There are many such among the sons of men at this time who have previously take the first initiation, and few who have taken the second, but who are nevertheless quite unaware of it, yet their centres and nervous organisation carry proof to those who have the inner vision.
If initiation is taken for the first time in any life, the recollection of it extends to the physical brain.
Curiosity, or even ordinary good living, never brought a man to the portal of Initiation. Curiosity, by arousing a strong vibration, in a man's lower nature, only serves to swing him away from, instead of towards the goal he is interested in; whilst ordinary good living, when not furthered by a life of utter sacrifice for others, and by a reticence, humility, and disinterestedness of a very unusual kind, may serve to build good vehicles which will be of use in another incarnation, but will never serve to break down those barriers, outer and inner, and overcome those opposing forces and energies which stand between a "good" man and the ceremony of initiation.
The Path of Discipleship is a difficult one to tread, and the Path of Initiation harder still; an initiate is but a battle scarred warrior, the victor in many a hard-won fight; he speaks not of his achievements, for he is too busy with the great work in hand; he makes no references to himself or to all that he has accomplished, save to deprecate the littleness of what has been done.
Nevertheless, to the world he is ever a man of large influence, the wider of spiritual power, the embodier of ideals, the worker for humanity, who unfailingly brings results which succeeding generations will recognize. He is one who, in spite of all this great achievement, is seldom understood by his own generation.
He is frequently the butt of men's tongues and frequently all that he does is misinterpreted; he lays his all-time, money, influence, reputation, and all the world considers worth while- upon the altar of altruistic service, and frequently offers his life as a final gift, only to find that those whom he has served throw his gift back to him, scorn his renunciation, and label him with unsavory names.
But the initiate cares not, for his is the privilege to see some what into the future, and therefore he realizes that the force he has generated will in due course of time bring to fulfilment the plan; he knows also that his name and effort are noted in the archives of the Lodge, and that the "Silent Watcher" over the affairs of men has taken notice.
Reference:Initiation Human and Solar: Alice A Bailey